Shams

Assalam Aalaikum My name is Shams.

I’m from a South Asian Muslim background and I grew up in a very religious, culturally traditional family. Faith, modesty and family honour have always been a big part of my life, and for a long time I felt like my sexuality and my spirituality were constantly fighting each other. I’m still attached to Islam, I still care about Allah, the afterlife and the imams, and I don’t want to throw my religion away in order to be myself.

A digital illustration of a young man with dark hair, a beard, and a nose ring, wearing a light blue button-up shirt. The background features colorful watercolor-style flowers in orange, purple, and green.

What attracted you to Queer Shia UK?

I was drawn to Queer Shia UK because I needed spaces where faith is taken seriously and not treated as a joke or as the “enemy”. I know what it feels like to be closeted, to carry shame and fear, and to have nobody in your community you can talk to honestly. Seeing a group that centres Muslim experiences, culture, family pressure and belief in God made me feel like there might be room for people like me who don’t fit into simple “religious vs secular” boxes. This made me feel at home and helped me with religious shame and trauma.

What do you hope to bring to Queer Shia UK?

I hope to bring empathy, listening and a perspective from someone who is still very connected to family and community, and who thinks a lot about conscience, sin, guilt and mental health. My main experience is around LGBT issues ,especially gay and bi men who are trying to live with dignity, avoid self-destruction, trying to balance religion, and not hurt anyone else. What I can offer is a non-judgemental ear, awareness of religious language, and solidarity with anyone who is trying to hold onto both their faith and their sense of self.

Anything else you’d like to add?

I know there are many of us who are half-in, half-out: attached to our traditions, afraid of being exposed, but tired of living in fear. I’m here because I want to help build gentler spaces for those people spaces where you don’t have to choose between your religion and your humanity, and where it’s okay to be in process, to have boundaries, and to still be working things out.